Therapy for the Asian-American soul

I've been on a movie watching semi-binge with all of this time I have during social distancing. One of the reasons why I love movies and TV is because you get to feel represented. There are people out there who understand you and your point of view. I feel so fortunate that I get to live during a time where there so much content about Asian-American stories coming out, thanks to the success of Crazy Rich Asians. In this blog post, I wanted to talk about some of the movies I have watched that has made me feel seen.

*[Spoilers ahead]*

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Crazy Rich Asians

The movie that started it all so of course I had to talk about it! Before this movie came out I read the book because I like to make comparisons between the book and movie versions. When I read the book, I was HOOKED. The book was soooo juicy and I couldn't stop reading it. It reminded me what it felt like to be addicted to a book, which hadn't happen in a long time. When I finished the book, it was right before I was going to watch the movie but I knew to keep my expectations low because movie adaptions of books are often disappointing.

I saw the movie and came out such a happy camper. I was filled with hope, nostalgia, and pride. The movie had motifs of my childhood (Teresa Teng songs, Hokkien [a dialect of Chinese that is VERY similar to my family's dialect], and the theme of not being "Asian" or good enough). I am also a sucker for rom-coms so this movie checked off a lot of boxes for me. The book and the movie are quite different, but different in a good way because they adjusted the story for the different mediums it was being presented on. I think the movie did a great job at still representing the main themes of the book in a condensed format.

I cried twice during the movie, once during the mahjong scene with the mother, and the other during the airplane proposal scene. The mahjong scene was so touching to me because Rachel was saying all the things that I felt while being Asian-American as she was being judged for her surface level capacities and not for who she truly is. Even though she loved Nick, she knew that his family meant everything to him so she sacrificed herself so he wouldn't resent her for making him choose her over his family. I thought this really touched the divide between Eastern and Western cultures as Eastern culture has a HUGE emphasis on filial piety while Western culture is more individualistic. As for the airplane proposal scene, I'm typically not a cry-er for sappy romantic things, but there's just something about that scene that really got me. Maybe it's because I was already emotional from the mahjong scene or maybe because SHE GOT THE RING THEREFORE SHE GOT THE MOM'S APPROVAL WHICH IS EVERYTHING. It's probably both.

I loved this movie and I love how it started a wave of Asian-American media to come out. Stream Crazy Rich Asians now on HBO Go.

To All the Boys I've Loved Before

I have a soft spot for this movie as I am also a sucker for cheesy teenage romance stories. I didn't know too much about this beforehand, but I ended up getting so much more out of this movie than I thought I would from a movie aimed at teenage girls. This movie touched me so much, that it inspired a personal project from me and I even wrote a previous blog post about it.

Since this movie is also a book adaptation, I suggested to my work book club that we should read the book series since I wanted to compare it and my sister loved the book series. I overall enjoyed the book series more since I thought it was better paced, but there are things that were added to the movie that I really appreciated.

I loved the scene in the first movie where LJ and her dad are talking about her mom in the diner as her favorite song plays in the background. I also loved the scene where LJ and Peter were talking about their parents at Peter's house. That really brought them together because they found someone who really understood what they were going through. I was a little disappointed that the book didn't go into detail about these topics as books tend to really dive in, but I was happy that the movie added these scenes since they were the scenes that really made me connect with the movie and inspired me to read the books.

My work book club ended up reading the whole trilogy and it made us realize how old we are hahah. It was definitely targeted for a younger crowd and I think high school me would have thoroughly enjoyed it. It makes sense too because my sister was like 17/18 so that's probably a big reason why she liked it so much. I'm glad that I read it though and it was a fun read.

Another scene I really liked that the movies added was in the second movie with LJ and Gen in their old tree house, confronting each other about their past relationship and showing young women a healthy way to resolve conflict. In a lot of media these days, everything is so drama driven so it was refreshing to see something healthy be portrayed on such a large platform.

Stream the first two movies in the trilogy now on Netflix.

The Farewell

I was SO hyped for The Farewell right when I saw the trailer for it. I knew that it was going to be a movie that was definitely going to tug my heart strings since I have a soft spot for stories dealing with family struggles. I bought tickets to see it in the theaters right when I found out it was coming to the Bay Area.

When I watched the movie, I didn't realize that it was a comedy LOL... The trailer made it seem like it was going to be a tragic drama! But I still really liked it and a huge theme of the movie is Eastern vs Western values, which is something that I mentioned in the Crazy Rich Asians section of this post. I thought it was important because it is something that first generation Asian-Americans deal with very heavily and it made me realize that I held more Eastern values than I thought.

It was kind of funny how in the movie, they kept on saying that Awkwafina had bad Mandarin, but when I first heard it, I thought it was pretty legit but I guess that just shows how bad my Mandarin is. My favorite scene of the movie is when they're at the cemetery praying for the grandpa and they're leaving things at his tombstone for him to have at heaven. The uncle wants to leave him a cigarette but I think one of the aunties is like "No! You can't give that to him, it's bad for him." Then the uncle goes "He's dead anyways! Dad, enjoy your cigarette!" I grew up praying and leaving gifts for my relatives so this scene just really hit home to me and I thought it was super funny.

*Major spoiler in this next line* I was prepared to cry my eyes out for this movie but it turned out that nai nai lived! So less tears were shed and it ended up being a very uplifting movie.

Stream The Farewell now on Amazon Prime.

Tigertail

Another movie that I was instantly hyped for right when I saw the trailer. Alan Yang is known for his writing on Master of None and Parks and Recreation (Two shows that I absolutely love) so I knew that it was going to be a good one. Something that also stood out about this movie is that it is in English, Mandarin, AND Taiwanese! When Tigertail came out, Alan Yang tweeted a bunch of fun facts of the movie which I thought was super fascinating so you should check it out.

I thought that this was beautifully done and extremely relatable, even if you're not Taiwanese. For me, it was scary watching the scenes with the Pin Jui and Angela because it felt like I was watching my dad and I on screen! They captured that awkward tension so perfectly.

This movie served as a reminder that our parents went through a lot to provide a good life for us and they were once young and hopeful. There's a lot of their past that we do not know about so we should be gentle on them. We saw Pin Jui go from a charming young man to a cold and bitter older man as his regrets start to build up. I saw a lot of my dad in Pin Jui but this movie helped me get a better understanding and humanized him.

Tigertail also reminds us to remember our roots and to come home every once in a while. There's a reason why as a young man he spoke Mandarin while his mom continued to speak Taiwanese. Then in the present he speaks English to Angela the whole time right up until the end. Tigertail is about coming home and facing your past. This movie was a personal reminder to myself to live without regrets and to live for myself as much as I can.

Stream Tigertail now on Netflix.

First They Killed My Father

I'll be honest, I was avoiding this movie for a while mainly because it hits too close to home. This movie is a true story about the Cambodian Genocide from the perspective of a five year old Cambodian child. Both sides of my family had to live through the genocide and they have told me many stories so this story would be very personal to me.

I decided to watch this movie after watching Tigertail since one of the main messages is to learn about your roots and I wanted to take advantage of the little media out there about my family background. I was prepared to get hurt.

I am really glad that I watched it. It's directed by Angelina Jolie (who has done a ton of humanitarian work in Cambodia), amazing acting (all Cambodian actors), high production value, and great cinematography. The movie was heartbreaking and had me at the edge of my seat the whole time. I got to learn more about a part of history that often gets overlooked and I learned how Cambodian culture influenced my upbringing. Although my family didn't have to go through the labor camps, they had to spend their time during the genocide hiding and running away to Thailand because they would have been killed for being Chinese. They told me stories about starving, close calls they had with the Khmer Rouge, getting robbed, and avoiding landmines in the Cambodian jungle.

Seeing the experience of the genocide on the screen really made me realize the horror of what my family went through and makes me respect them even more. So learn about your roots and family background.

Stream First They Killed My Father on Netflix now.

The Half of It

And here we are, the movie that inspired this blog post. This movie just came out this past weekend and I'm a big supporter of Asian-American stories so I had to see it right away. I was worried that the trailer gave away the whole movie but I was in for a pleasant surprise!

Usually I love movies with twists and turns, but if you watch the trailer, you kind of already have an idea of where this movie is going. A smart, queer closeted, teenage girl (Ellie) living in a small town who helps a jock write love letters to his crush but it turns out that she has the same crush. You know where the movie is going, but I guess it just adds dramatic irony to the movie because you're waiting for it to crash down as you see all three of the protagonists emotionally bond and you realize how dynamic their characters are.

What I didn't expect, is a heartbreaking immigrant struggle story from the dad's perspective. He has a hard time speaking English even though he has a Ph.D in engineering. His inability to speak fluent English stunted him from getting an engineering job in America, and on top of that, his wife dies when his daughter is only 13 which leaves him emotionally stunted and forces Ellie to grow-up. When Ellie has to call the energy company because the energy company phone representatives couldn't understand his accent, it really hit home as my grandparents and parents speak with an accent and would often ask me to speak for them. Immigrants are often judged very harshly in America for how well they speak English and are deemed "lesser than" if they speak with an accent even though they are fluent in another or two languages. I was happy to see Paul and Ellie's dad connect through food even though there was a language barrier and that the dad was able to help Paul accept Ellie for who she is.

I loved this movie and how it was also directed by a queer Asian-American woman, Alice Wu. This movie could have easily been a cheesy young adult movie, but it ended up being an amazing coming of age movie.

Steam The Half of It now on Netflix.

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So that's it! (Almost) Free therapy for the Asian-American soul. All of these movies touched my heart and made me feel seen in different ways. The feeling of being seen is like no other. It reminds me why I love being a creative and why I want to do what I do. I want to bring happiness and comfort through my work as movies like these have done so for my own life. Having diverse stories is so important and having them on the big screen or streaming platforms lets us know that our stories matter too.

The one movie that I am missing on this list is the Joy Luck Club!! I've read the book and even ordered the Jessica Hische Drop Cap series version. But yeah, it was an amazing read that aged very well so I'm excited to see the movie interpretation of the book.

If there's anything that you get out of my blog post it should be embrace your roots, your story is important, and be gentle on your parents.

Until next time my friend,

Amanda